tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11306845.post113101048878923775..comments2024-03-28T03:19:40.014-04:00Comments on The Y Files: MoDo's lamentCathy Younghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09688616617444359647noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11306845.post-66107368331288296832013-08-05T02:39:00.872-04:002013-08-05T02:39:00.872-04:00This is a great publish. You have explained rid of...This is a <a href="http://www.ukessaywriting.co.uk/essaypaper/college-essay-format.htm" rel="nofollow">great publish</a>. You have explained rid of it. My wife and i enjoy your projects. I am going to save your site. Thank you with regard to posting. Robyin Gramhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01365417980344302985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11306845.post-51621832630840375052013-07-24T02:34:51.005-04:002013-07-24T02:34:51.005-04:00It's an fascinating submit. You have described...It's an fascinating submit. You have described this within a great way. 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Though I do think that because feminism deals so much with personal issues, it may be more prone to this kind of writing than, say, discussions of foreign policy.<BR/><BR/>I should add that anti-feminists (Danielle Crittenden, Wendy Shalit) use it all the time too -- "I know a lot of women who feel that feminism has made them miserable and we ought to return to old-fashioned truths about men and women, therefore that's how women feel en masse."Cathy Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09688616617444359647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11306845.post-1131170747818104122005-11-05T01:05:00.000-05:002005-11-05T01:05:00.000-05:00MoDo's article is part of a recent trend of femini...<I>MoDo's article is part of a recent trend of feminist scholarship founded on this authorial attitude</I><BR/><BR/>It's neither recent nor exclusively feminist.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11306845.post-1131133992740906172005-11-04T14:53:00.000-05:002005-11-04T14:53:00.000-05:00You call that a *recent* trend, angry young man? I...<I>You call that a *recent* trend, angry young man? I think that attitude has been around for a while in feminism, actually.</I><BR/><BR/>I don't think there's any need to single out feminists in particular. Self-identified "elites" have been singing the "things are going bad and its those damned proles' fault" song since at *least* the days of the Roman Empire.Revenanthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11374515200055384226noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11306845.post-1131112996061490462005-11-04T09:03:00.000-05:002005-11-04T09:03:00.000-05:00My two cents:1. I disagree with MoDo because I bel...My two cents:<BR/><BR/>1. I disagree with MoDo because I believe a man does want someone they can talk to, someone they can trust, someone they can share their lives with. The woman doesn't even have to be beautiful according to cultural conventions. She just has to be beautiful to him, and that beauty can take on many forms. What a man doesn't want is a pain in the ass, and that I think is MoDo's real problem.<BR/><BR/>2. MoDo's article is part of a recent trend of feminist scholarship founded on this authorial attitude: "I'm smart. My friends are smart. We went to Brearly and Yale. We live in New York, for God's sake. Who wouldn't want to be like us? So of course I can make sweeping generalizations about how all women think, regardless of class, religion, locale, aspirations, et al., because we think for everyone."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11306845.post-1131080255552286812005-11-03T23:57:00.000-05:002005-11-03T23:57:00.000-05:00Would be nice if we gave each other a chance to no...<I>Would be nice if we gave each other a chance to not live down to the stereotypes, no?</I><BR/><BR/>I agree. I don't know your friend, but I wonder if he were engaging in another type of mental game people play--rejecting a potential mate before taking a chance on them. You don't have to worry if the beautiful surgeon will blow you off if you decide, first, that she has some low-grade reason she wouldn't be interested.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11306845.post-1131076457616233292005-11-03T22:54:00.000-05:002005-11-03T22:54:00.000-05:00My goodness, I haven't heard the Colin Farrell sto...My goodness, I haven't heard the Colin Farrell story. However, while composing my MoDo post I did a Google search for older woman/younger man couples in Hollywood, and was shocked to find out that Ralph Fiennes is in a long-term relationship with an actress nearly 20 years his senior, Francesca Annis -- whom he first met when she played his mother in <I>Hamlet</I>! (Weirder yet, I saw that production.)Cathy Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09688616617444359647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11306845.post-1131068072081485472005-11-03T20:34:00.000-05:002005-11-03T20:34:00.000-05:00revenant -- sorry if I didn't make myself clear. ...revenant -- sorry if I didn't make myself clear. What I meant is that Joan Collins's ability, at 69, to attract a much younger man had something to do with her status and success. And I don't mean simply that her husband is necessarily a golddigger. I think fame and status can be an aphrodisiac for both sexes.<BR/><BR/>By the way, didn't Chris Hitchens once write an article about how a lot of British guys, regardless of politics, had a Margaret Thatcher fetish in the Thatcher years?Cathy Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09688616617444359647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11306845.post-1131062168064393032005-11-03T18:56:00.000-05:002005-11-03T18:56:00.000-05:00I agree there's a tendency in that direction, but ...<I>I agree there's a tendency in that direction, but don't agree with this as an absolute generalization.</I><BR/><BR/>I didn't mean to sound like all women care about the status and success of their potential mate. I meant it in the "men are taller than women" sense -- true for the average, even though tall women and short men do exist.<BR/><BR/>I'm not sure that a 69-year-old woman is a good example, though. I don't know of any studies that have examined this area, but I wouldn't be surprised if the "marry a good provider" instinct was tied to the ability to bear children, and faded post-menopause. There are good examples from among younger women, though (Britney Spears leaps to mind -- yeesh).Revenanthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11374515200055384226noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11306845.post-1131058042389198162005-11-03T17:47:00.000-05:002005-11-03T17:47:00.000-05:00Thanks everyone. Still working on deadline so thi...Thanks everyone. Still working on deadline so this is going to have to be very short for now --<BR/><BR/>mythago, I agree that some men want to "have it both ways too" (e.g., they want/expect their wife to share the burden of breadwinning but don't want to share the burden of domestic labor) -- one thing that really irritates me about Warren Farrell, for instance, is his refusal to acknowledge that.<BR/><BR/>It's all complicated by the fact that some people defend their traditional expectations in terms of deferring to what they believe the other person's expectations will be. A friend of mine, then an editor at a major publishing house in New York, once told me that he met a woman at a party and considered asking her out until he found out she was a surgeon at one of NYC's top hospitals, probably making 4-5 times as much as he did. He assured me that it didn't bother him (and knowing him, I think he was telling the truth), but he was sure that she wouldn't give him the time of the day. Likewise, I've heard women say that they would never go out with a man who earned much less than they did because they were convinced that his ego would never withstand the relationship.<BR/><BR/>(Would be nice if we gave each other a chance to not live down to the stereotypes, no?)<BR/><BR/>revenant:<BR/><BR/><I>I think that a woman's success has little to do, one way or the other, with her sex appeal to most men.I think that a woman's success has little to do, one way or the other, with her sex appeal to most men. It has quite a bit to do with men's sex appeal to women.</I><BR/><BR/>I agree there's a tendency in that direction, but don't agree with this as an absolute generalization. Look at my Joan Collins example: do you think that a non-high-status 69-year-old female, even with very good looks, would find herself a 37-year-old husband? I can think of other examples as well.Cathy Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09688616617444359647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11306845.post-1131045132484676232005-11-03T14:12:00.000-05:002005-11-03T14:12:00.000-05:00I think that a woman's success has little to do, o...I think that a woman's success has little to do, one way or the other, with her sex appeal to most men. It has quite a bit to do with men's sex appeal to women. Research seems to support this, and it is consistent with what we would expect from evolution, given that women historically needed more support from others than men did (due to the whole pregnancy thing).<BR/><BR/>So I think you're right that women are, on average, less willing to "settle" for less-successful men than men are for less-successful women.Revenanthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11374515200055384226noreply@blogger.com