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I am positive it doesn't include tasks like maintaining 2 vehicles, taking care of all the plumbing problems, taking care of all the electrical problems, crawling under the house to change the heater filters, maintaining the yard equipment, dealing with the audio/video/computer issues, doing the heavy remodeling, well, you get the idea.<BR/>I'll bet their criteria runs heavy to cleaning, cooking, diapers, etc., so I never take those "studies" very seriously. I don't cook except occasionally, my wife goes ballistic if I look at a laundry basket, and my cleaning is substantially below acceptable (her opinion), but I think I do my share if your definition of "housework" includes everything it takes to keep the family running.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11306845.post-1128149206581090862005-10-01T02:46:00.000-04:002005-10-01T02:46:00.000-04:00bifcuss, I didn't call you a "control freak." Not ...bifcuss, I didn't call you a "control freak." Not my style. That was another poster on my blog.Cathy Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09688616617444359647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11306845.post-1128130811272136172005-09-30T21:40:00.000-04:002005-09-30T21:40:00.000-04:00..."Not to mention that Victorian crap about "wome......"Not to mention that Victorian crap about "women are the keepers of the home"..."<BR/><BR/>As if there's anything wrong with that. Why is 'victorian' automatically presumed crap anyway? Especially for those who choose it?<BR/><BR/>As for a man claiming to "keep his woman in line" I personally asked my husband for his input about this and he responded "but I do," which I found hilarious. If he had said this to me years back I would have been furious for I was, I believe, conditioned during my teenage years and early adult life to be furious at such a statement.<BR/><BR/>I apologize for insulting modern thinker, but it was only after you accused me of being a 'control freak' (a negative term for managing my home), and also that I am teaching my children to look up to a 'servant' when they in fact, are learning mutual respect from their parents with no pre-concieved hang-ups.<BR/><BR/>When I say women are the keepers of the home, I mean that in a general sense. But I'm sure there are men out there who have argued with their wifes (or girlfriends) about what color of curtains he refuses to have hanging in his home, and how dishes should be washed.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11306845.post-1128109549773788792005-09-30T15:45:00.000-04:002005-09-30T15:45:00.000-04:00I believe that a lot of the disparity comes from t...I believe that a lot of the disparity comes from the definition of 'housework' and 'childrearing'.<BR/><BR/>I wonder, for example, if coaching the Little League team counts as 'childrearing'? I would guess that it doesn't, whereas taking the children to the playground probably would.<BR/><BR/>I, and pretty much every man I know, sacrifice self for the good of the household: we commute further, work longer hours, take more difficult/hazardous/stressful but higher-paying jobs, etc for the good of the family. We bring work home. We take courses to stay current or get a greater chance of advancement. Those hours are not counted as 'housework'.Deanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10023986850397045322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11306845.post-1128090193275974622005-09-30T10:23:00.000-04:002005-09-30T10:23:00.000-04:00biffcuss, I don't want to judge anyone else's fami...biffcuss, I don't want to judge anyone else's family life but I have to say that you're not making a very attractive case for traditional roles with comments like "I have my husband wrapped around my little finger" (what if it was a guy who said "I know how to keep my wife in line"?). Not to mention that Victorian crap about "women are the keepers of the home" and the fact that you feel free to insult "modern thinkers" (presumably those of us who believe in egalitarian roles).<BR/><BR/>No one begrudges you your own choices, but you seem to insist on speaking for all women. Not all women have a "nurturing nature" (or at least more of a nurturing nature than men). How about a little respect for the individuality of different human beings?Cathy Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09688616617444359647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11306845.post-1128019451573416932005-09-29T14:44:00.000-04:002005-09-29T14:44:00.000-04:00What are you so upset about? The fact that the re...What are you so upset about? The fact that the relationship I have with my husband does not fit your "ideal?" We SERVE eachother in the ways that work best for us with the least friction.<BR/> <BR/>And why do you seem to have a problem with how I have him wrapped around my finger? Isn't that how a husband should be toward his wife? I'm sure you modern thinkers just cringe at that thought. Because you're the one's who are really all f@#$%^ed up.<BR/><BR/>As for the housecleaning, it's obvious that he's not going to be as "fussy." Like I said I'm picky so why am I going to nag him to do more housework when I'm only going to nag him later again that he didn't give the same care into the work as I do?<BR/><BR/>And there is no power struggle between us because we're not striving for any ideal here. There would be one if I tried to artificially change our family dynamics.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11306845.post-1128005173586389102005-09-29T10:46:00.000-04:002005-09-29T10:46:00.000-04:00* he gives "it" to me whenever I want it without h...* he gives "it" to me whenever I want it without having to hear him whine about how exhausted he is. *<BR/><BR/>So all the usual excuses that women give when they don't want to do it is just "whining"?<BR/><BR/>*Besides, he cleans like a man (a straight man) and does not pay much attention to detail like I do.*<BR/><BR/>You mean he doesn't nitpick as much as you. Or perhaps he just isn't as fussy as you.<BR/><BR/>*I'm picky, and I take satisfaction in that the things are particularly done my way.*<BR/><BR/>A control freak, are you? Figures.<BR/>You're not in a marriage. You're in a power struggle.<BR/><BR/>*For that I have a husband who will always wipe our kids butt no matter what, and always brews the coffee, makes me a cup and brings it to me, even when he's not having any.*<BR/><BR/>You don't have a husband. You have a servant. I can see how your kids are really going to look up to their servant...I mean father. <BR/><BR/>He IS the REAL father of your kids, right? <BR/><BR/>*I have him wrapped around my finger.*<BR/><BR/>Do you believe in retribuition?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11306845.post-1127962399564279142005-09-28T22:53:00.000-04:002005-09-28T22:53:00.000-04:00I don't mind doing most of the housework, even whe...I don't mind doing most of the housework, even when I work outside the home, as my job is not as laborous as his, and as long as he pays most of the bills and he gives "it" to me whenever I want it without having to hear him whine about how exhausted he is. Besides, he cleans like a man (a straight man) and does not pay much attention to detail like I do. I'm picky, and I take satisfaction in that the things are particularly done my way.<BR/>For that I have a husband who will always wipe our kids butt no matter what, and always brews the coffee, makes me a cup and brings it to me, even when he's not having any. I have him wrapped around my finger. <BR/><BR/>Don't fight the nurturing nature. Women are the keepers of the home.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11306845.post-1127920915033794562005-09-28T11:21:00.000-04:002005-09-28T11:21:00.000-04:00Once upon a time my ex took my child to a new chil...Once upon a time my ex took my child to a new childcare centre and then forgot where it was. I wonder if a roomful of feminists would guffaw over that. Moreover, she has since succeeded in effectively completely removing me from my child's life, despite several very participatory years as a father. In so many ways, men just can't win so one wonders if it is worthwhile trying at all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11306845.post-1127879619974195392005-09-27T23:53:00.000-04:002005-09-27T23:53:00.000-04:00indeed, yardworkwas one thing i was thinking about...indeed, yardworkwas one thing i was thinking about. <BR/><BR/>i'm also wondering how such things as childcare is defined. Is that included in housework? If so, does it only include feeding, clothing and bathing, or does recreation fit in?<BR/><BR/>to me the problems with these studies is that the terms seem precise to those responding but are in fact vague because they mean different things to different people.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11306845.post-1127871154175062052005-09-27T21:32:00.000-04:002005-09-27T21:32:00.000-04:00angry young man--good point about what gets define...angry young man--good point about what gets defined as "housework."<BR/><BR/>Some studies, apparently, have not counted outdoor work, which is more traditionally male.<BR/><BR/>As for men as "cockroaches in the kitchen" *lol* -- some 10 years ago I remember hearing being present (as the sole single gal) at a conversation in which several professional women in their early 30s were talking about their husbands' domestic ineptitude. As I listened, it struck me that they weren't so much complaining about it as bragging, essentially, about their own superiority.Cathy Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09688616617444359647noreply@blogger.com